Drinking GF

An alcoholic's primary relationship is with the booze.

We're talking about a girl in college? Honey- from what I remember of first getting to college - it was drinking. And Studying. And trying to squeeze in time for the BF.

It's nice that you're concerned but, I really don't think from what you've said so far that she's an alcoholic. Maybe she could be - always that possibility. But, youth and college - sounds more typical than not.

What has you more concerned - her drinking or her partying with all these people?

Does she get violent when she drinks? Does she pass out or not remember what she's done while she was drunk?

Partying with all of the people, and the choices she makes when shes drinking. She's careless and has no regard for the decisions she makes when shes drunk. I am much more mature than her, I had to grow up fast in my life, My dad was an alcoholic drug user and my mom wasnt always the nicest person because of that. So i took alot of the blame for the family falling apart over the years because i was the first born and my mom had me when she was 18, i was a mistake. So growing up i always felt like im the one that messed things up and have done everything i can to steer clear of drinking and drugs and just trying to do well in college to get a good career set up for myself. She is stuck in the youth mind set that all there is to do is drink and party with anyone and everyone. Its annoying, maybe i should just give up on it. I love her more than life itself tho and would do anything for her. its just taking a tole on me caring and being yelled at for trying to explain and teach her things. She usually says she understands after every arguement when i get my point accross, but then she goes and pulls the same thing again over and over. So i dont think i have gotten my point accross, i think she is simply saying it to make me happy for the mean time and then doing whatever she wants anyways.

The 2nd time i saw her i met her at a party to hang out, she was so drunk from a bottle of vodka that she had been unconscious for an hour and been puking everywhere. My friends took her home and carried her into her house, she didnt remember anything. That has happend about 3 times since i started dating her a year and 2 months ago

Do you really need to think any more on that after saying it then?

She's young and she has her own growing to do. It's great that you are there for her to give her advise and even to catch her when she falls though - and you say you care deeply for her so- are you willing to accept she has to grow up on her own and just be there for her?

Its hard to be a bistandard to someone you care about, and watch them be stubborn and go through the same things we have all been through already knowing the outcome, but they are too stubborn to listen. I guess i just had a different mind set 2 years ago at her age. Not everyone thinks the same i should just let it be, maybe move on and see if she comes back when shes done with this stage

Listen, knowing your history and your family situation, I think it's insensitive and immature of her to drink so heavily when it bothers you so much.

I'd take it for what it is and get out. This girl doesn't love you. You deserve someone who does.

Is your quote from your Baseball thread. So --- you understand the concept of being with friends, drinking, getting drunk and the enjoyment of it - yes?

DrewDad said it all.

You are NOT her primary relationship, period.

So you went out and found someone that feels really familiar.

"The circus feels just like home."

Yes but she doesnt use alcohol to just have a good time at friends. If we are fighting or she is mad at me. She will go to a party and not tell me or talk to me. Then later at night call me piss drunk barely able to talk just because she knows it gets to me

I'd suggest this is not a relationship for you.
I also might suggest some counselling, so that you can develop the interesting person you already are and not get pulled into these kind of situations. Your university counselling center might be good, or possibly Al-anon.

Yep - this sounds more and more like the two of you aren't right for each other right at the moment. Counceling is a good idea.

I don't see where anyone has said that she does do it just to have a good time.

Read drew dads 2 posts again....I don't think anyone can possibly say it better.

That's what young college students do. It's her time to not discriminate, and at some point she'll settle down. Let her make her own choices, good or bad.

It sounds like your upbringing was a rough one, so it makes sense you're vigilant about others (that's always a characterisitc of a child of an alcoholic).

I think you ought to back off from her and branch out on your own, find some activities, clubs, sports, something that occupies your time and opens up your world a bit.

Rereading the first post, I see that johnmg doesn't drink. Nicely put, there seems to be a bit of inconsistancy.

Thats what I thought too roger. Thanks for pickin up what Im puttin down

Sounds like a situation that is not healthy for you or her. it may be hard but she needs to see that drinking to excess is not good. She needs a wake up call. That will not happen as long as you support her drinking. And yes, staying with her is supporting her. Breaking up with her *may* send the message she needs to seek help but ultimately she needs to take action against her alcolholism herself. Until she sees how it is destrying her life, she will continue to drink.