Drinking GF

Johnmg · Posts: 65 Location: Rochester NY

My girlfriend likes to drink too much. I have been dating her for a little over a year now and when we first started drinking she was a heavy drinker. She cut back to almost nothing for a long while but is going to college and hanging out more and more with all of her old friends who drink every night basically. I have chrones disease so i cannot drink anything at all and would rather not go to parties and be sober and watch my gf be trashed. She goes to parties in far away places and with people she doesnt know, it reall bothers me and makes me worry. But she always tells me i have nothing to worry about and that she would never cheat on me. When we argue about her drinking she turns it around on me as if somehow ive done something wrong for caring about her health. Ladies... can i really trust her, what should i do?

DrewDad · Posts: 13943 Location: Silicon Hills

An alcoholic's primary relationship is with the booze.

quinn1 · Posts: 4485 Location: Boston

We're talking about a girl in college? Honey- from what I remember of first getting to college - it was drinking. And Studying. And trying to squeeze in time for the BF.

It's nice that you're concerned but, I really don't think from what you've said so far that she's an alcoholic. Maybe she could be - always that possibility. But, youth and college - sounds more typical than not.

What has you more concerned - her drinking or her partying with all these people?

MagicBlackCat · Posts: 337 Location: Valley of the Sun

Does she get violent when she drinks? Does she pass out or not remember what she's done while she was drunk?

Johnmg · Posts: 65 Location: Rochester NY

Partying with all of the people, and the choices she makes when shes drinking. She's careless and has no regard for the decisions she makes when shes drunk. I am much more mature than her, I had to grow up fast in my life, My dad was an alcoholic drug user and my mom wasnt always the nicest person because of that. So i took alot of the blame for the family falling apart over the years because i was the first born and my mom had me when she was 18, i was a mistake. So growing up i always felt like im the one that messed things up and have done everything i can to steer clear of drinking and drugs and just trying to do well in college to get a good career set up for myself. She is stuck in the youth mind set that all there is to do is drink and party with anyone and everyone. Its annoying, maybe i should just give up on it. I love her more than life itself tho and would do anything for her. its just taking a tole on me caring and being yelled at for trying to explain and teach her things. She usually says she understands after every arguement when i get my point accross, but then she goes and pulls the same thing again over and over. So i dont think i have gotten my point accross, i think she is simply saying it to make me happy for the mean time and then doing whatever she wants anyways.

Johnmg · Posts: 65 Location: Rochester NY

The 2nd time i saw her i met her at a party to hang out, she was so drunk from a bottle of vodka that she had been unconscious for an hour and been puking everywhere. My friends took her home and carried her into her house, she didnt remember anything. That has happend about 3 times since i started dating her a year and 2 months ago

quinn1 · Posts: 4485 Location: Boston

Quote:

She is stuck in the youth mind set that all there is to do is drink and party

Do you really need to think any more on that after saying it then?

She's young and she has her own growing to do. It's great that you are there for her to give her advise and even to catch her when she falls though - and you say you care deeply for her so- are you willing to accept she has to grow up on her own and just be there for her?

Johnmg · Posts: 65 Location: Rochester NY

Its hard to be a bistandard to someone you care about, and watch them be stubborn and go through the same things we have all been through already knowing the outcome, but they are too stubborn to listen. I guess i just had a different mind set 2 years ago at her age. Not everyone thinks the same i should just let it be, maybe move on and see if she comes back when shes done with this stage

Bella Dea · Posts: 14876 Location: Digging a really big hole in India

Listen, knowing your history and your family situation, I think it's insensitive and immature of her to drink so heavily when it bothers you so much.

I'd take it for what it is and get out. This girl doesn't love you. You deserve someone who does.

quinn1 · Posts: 4485 Location: Boston

Quote:

Baseball can be alot of fun, an outting with friends to get drunk, eat food, and cheer for a game

Is your quote from your Baseball thread. So --- you understand the concept of being with friends, drinking, getting drunk and the enjoyment of it - yes?